JosieTucker SGP Illustration
 
There’s loads on at Secret Garden Party this year, you’ll need a time machine in order to do everything. To help you out, Volt Cafe has narrowed it down to the ultimate A-Z of SGP.
 
A – ABBOTS RIPTON
 
Taking place in the delightful grounds of a Georgian farmhouse, SGP makes Abbots Ripton rock every year. With it’s own lake (see ‘L’), river and landscaped gardens, the SGP grounds are not only spectacularly fun, but also a delight to be in.
 
B – THE BIG BURN
 
There’s only one thing to do on Saturday night – watch the Big Burn firework display. Accompanied by music, expect fizzles, bangs and burning ships.
 
C – THE COLO-SILLY-UM
 
In ode to this year’s theme of Childish Things, daftness of gladiatorial and ridiculous proportions takes place in the fortress dubbed The Colosillyum. From classic hotdog eating contests to mud-wrestling and the rowdiest of crowds, don’t miss out of this castle of fun.
 
D – DANCE OFF
 
It’s a fact that dancing is fun. It’s even more fun if you get your groove on in a dance-off. Anything goes here – back-flipping, tango, crunking or just letting loose, you’ve got four days to proof you’re the King or Queen of the dancers.
 
E – EKKAH
 
The infectious funk-pop duo that is equal parts “post-disco-80s-RnB” are a must see at SGP. Girl-funk is having a moment and these girls (both called Rebecca) are at the forefront. Backed by three boys, EKKAH is a must for anyone who loves funk, pop and a party.
 
www.soundcloud.com/ekkah
 
F – FIRE WALKING
 
Little did the cavemen know, that when they discovered fire it would eventually adapt into fire walking. Test your strength, skill (and potentially down-right stupidity) and walking across flaming-hot coals. It might change your life.
 
G – GLITTER
 
(Not litter) If you bring a gallon of glitter with you you’ll be a) the best dressed and b) the most popular person at the entire festival. Everyone loves glitter.
 
H – HOT TUBS / bathing under the sky
 
After it’s sell-out success last summer, Bathing Under the Sky is back. Portable wood-fired spas and their award-winning hot tub bus are the best way to recharge yourself mid-festival. From a dry Finnish sauna with a cooling shows, the wood-fired hot tubs and a complementary glass of sparking wine served to your tub, there’s no better way to relax.
 
I – IMAGINATION
 
If there’s one festival where literally anything goes, it’s Secret Garden Party. The theme this year is Childish Things, so let your imagination run wild when creating your costumes. What would your 5-year-old self go as?
 
J – JUNGLE
 
Headlining the Great stage is modern soul musical collective Jungle. Hailing from London, the mid-tempo 70s-style funk with swatches of psychedelia and occasionally animal noises, Jungle are guaranteed to make the Great stage feel like you’re in the wild.
 
www.soundcloud.com/jungle-8
 
K – KIDS AREA
 
For the little gardeners attending Secret Garden Party, there’s a programme full to the brim of activities, entertainment and games spread around the site. They won’t want to leave.
 
L – LAKE
 
Probably one of the most famous features of SGP is the Great Lake. An iconic centrepiece, art installation and party venue built by scallywags from the PirateTechnics crew. Head to the water for boating, punting, swimming and relaxing.
 
M – MUD WRESTLING
 
Festivals are usually filled with mud, fact. Expect to take advantage of the swamps by taking part in mud wrestling. We promise you, it is fun.
 
N – NAKEDNESS
 
At some point you will fall in the mud, someone will spill a drink all over you or your dress you brought especially for the last day will magically disappear. If that does happen, embrace the nakedness. After all, you’re at the freest when you’re at a festival.
 
O – OUTRAGEOUS
 
SGP is famous for it’s wild parties, amazing set design and an outrageous spirit, which you just can’t miss out on. Be wild, free, and totally outrageous.
 
P – PAINT FIGHT
 
Something that many attempt, but few succeed at, SGP has mastered the art of the paint fight. A celebration of togetherness on the last day, perfect your battle cry and choose your colour.
 
Q – QUOTABLY “A SERIOUS PARTY”
 
‘This is a serious party’ bragged SGP. You won’t be let down by their promise; this weekend will definitely not be short of fun, parties, amazing music and chaos.
 
R – THE RHUMBA RUM BAR
 
Whether you dance in, walk in, or drag yourself through the door (they’re not fussy), The Rhumba Rum Bar is the steamiest bar on the island. Expect the best night you can have under a canvas roof.
 
S – SUNFLOWER FIELD
 
The secret sunflower field is hidden behind a port-a-loo door. For those who find the secret entrance, a hallway will take you to the sunny heaven of head-high sunflowers. It’s the most beautiful spot in the Garden.
 
T – TOY BOX
 
There’s no need to be a grown-up in the Garden. A 100-acre toy box of a party is filled with jelly and ice cream, Thundercats t-shirt’s, Bagpuss plushies and fancy dress. With the theme of Childish Things, feel free to revert back to your 6-year-old self (and yes, you can wear your matching Thunderbirds pyjamas).
 
U – UNLEASH YOUR INNER CHILD
 
It’s July and you’re in the magical Garden. Let loose and eat all the flying saucers you want, do things your mother wouldn’t approve of and confirm that you are young.
 
V – VILLAGE HALL
 
Cricket, giant jenga and knitting can all be found at the Village Hall. Made up of a few traditional tents, have a few minutes of civilised behaviour and relax with your tea and cake.
 
W – WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
 
Made of countless intertwining branches, tree trunks and roots, this stage wouldn’t be out of place in Narnia. Presenting the best and wildest shows at the Garden, the Where The Wild Things Are stage will never fail to delight you.
 
X – X RATED
 
Welcome Little Gay Brother back for their fourth year at the Garden. An eclectic mix of boys, girls, daddies, trannies and divas who tear the club scene apart with their incredible monthly nights. Don’t miss this all-inclusive party where literally ANYTHING goes.
 
Y – YOGA
 
If you want a minute away from the madness, get involved in a Acro Yoga session, the yoga rave and dance meditation. The Sanctuary is a divine respite from the crowds for when your ears are ringing and your glitter stocks are running low.
 
Z – ZOLA BLOOD
 
Hackney Wick based band Zola Blood leave nothing to chance with their performances. With critical acclaim for previous shows as well as their debut track ‘Grace’, these heroes are a must see.
 
www.soundcloud.com/zola-blood
 
Words by Annie Lunnon and Danielle Westwood
Illustration by Josie Tucker

Tags

Annie Lunnon, Danielle Westwood, Ekkah, Josie Tucker, Jungle, Little Gay Brother, Secret Garden Party, Zola Blood,